May 13, 2005

The Very End

Today was my last day. My task list, per my manager, was pared down to turning in my stuff then getting a ride home.

He took today as a vacation day, so I didn't have to deal with him or get that final handshake - w00t!

My sense of relief this morning was profound. My feeling during the day and on the ride home was anxious...I just wanted to get safely home. On some level it's important that I cut all possible ties to this workplace, to the extent that I made it a point to turn in each and every piece of equipment that I was ever issued or expensed. The coworker who drove me home asked if I wanted anything, but I declined because I need to feel that I've left them all in the best possible position, as opposed to doing anything that would fuck them.

I realize in some way that this is a lot like divorce. By leaving I'm putting myself in a financial gray area, where I can survive for a bit but it'll be tighter than if I'd stayed "safe and secure" in that relationship. I'm moving and everything in my life is changing, which is exactly what I went through when I separated. Guess I have a unique view, having gone through a divorce, but it's eerily similar.

The bottom line is that things may get harder, stuff might not work out the way I'd planned, bad things might happen. But in the long run I'll be better off because I'll be happier. Just as there's no sense staying in a bad marriage and torturing yourself, I now realize the same is true in the workplace.


Blogger Rothar said...

I just realized this morning that another source of work stress was the weather.

Today's forecast for instance, rain and thunderstorms this afternoon, possibility of severe thunderstorms.

I've been in the habit of checking the weather so frequently, then stressing over forecasts such as this, because I know there's a chance it'll break out equipment in the field. This is especially true on a weekend while on call or at night.

Now I just have to be aware of the weather, so I know what to wear and if I need to unplug my computer before leaving. *sigh*

6:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was that a *sigh* of relief or one of nostalgia? ;)

You're free. It will probably take a little time to realize it, but you are. :)

And remember, if you run into trouble, the light is always on for you.


9:16 AM  

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