February 06, 2010

The Coming Snowpocalypse

So tonight and tomorrow we're getting hit with this massive snowstorm. I'm prepared to stay in all day tomorrow, my preparations are made: I've got a full tank of gas, I've got plenty of food and drink, and I've got lots of stuff to do.

After hearing all the talk on the radio today, I got to wonder about some things when it comes to these big storms. These storms happen every year, each year we get at least one. So, what's with all the eggs and milk disappearing every time? Do people really need all those extra cups of hot cocoa? And the eggs, do people actually take the time to cook extra omlettes, or are they just baking cake after cake?

But my big question has to do with shovels, which I hear were sold out at many stores today. We live in the northeast where we get snow reliably every year. Who in their right mind doesn't already have a shovel? Do thousands of households have children that are just coming of age this year, who have earned the right to a shovel of their own? Do shovels break that often? Or does shovel technology update every year and I'm woefully behind the bleeding edge?


Blogger Rothar said...

My buddy Randy mentioned bread, the other substance that humans seem to need in large quantities whenever a storm's about to hit.


Like the Book of Revelations, one disaster has been followed by another. Instead of the sea turning to blood, The Beast, or the Whore of Babylon, we've been ravaged by a second storm.

Currently I'm at home, waiting in the lull between this particular storm's phases:

1 - snow (with some rain & freezing rain)

2 - lull (with cold)

3 - snow & fierce wind

I have seen the end and lo, I am both humbled and terrified.

12:20 PM  
Blogger Rothar said...

The next seal shall be broken and lo, one will come forth on a hazy white horse. He is Snow and he brings a cold, white death to all in his path.

You will know of his coming when all the milk shall spoil on the shelves, all the eggs shall birth locusts, and all the bread shall become as Wormwood.

Children shall rejoice at his coming but behold, they will have been betrayed by The Beast. For they shall be forced to cease their playing and will be handed shovels, then they shall toil until the final days.

6:09 PM  

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